Realer Than The Movies

Dianna and Richard are opposites in every way. He’s neat, and she’s cluttered. He’s quiet, and she’s chatty. He doesn’t like to fly, and her heart beats for travel. The pair lives at opposite ends of every spectrum, which admittedly makes them feel a bit like a romantic comedy movie couple. 

 

This was the case even in the early days of the relationship. Of course, it all felt a bit more John Hughes than Nora Ephron at the beginning. Complete with Friday-night football games, meddling friends, Sadie Hawkins school dances and misunderstood jocks, it was the type of dizzying high school romance that young girls yearn for after reading every Young Adult Romance book they can get their hands on in the library. The year was 1962 in Denton, Texas, but some things are timeless. She was the cheery, self-proclaimed “Chatty Cathy,” and he was quiet, brooding, and just a little bit older. It’s a tale as old as time. 

 

However, despite their When Harry Met Sally-esque opposites-attract dynamic, this pair’s love story is not a romance movie. It’s something realer than that. 

 

While the first decade of their relationship centered around the head-over-heels, consuming teenage love, the second decade proved to be about building a life for themselves. That second decade of their relationship was difficult, as marriage always tends to be. After their wedding, which was planned entirely by the florist and had a lime green and yellow color scheme, Richard and Dianna were quickly thrust into the world of paying bills, long and tiring work days, and crying children. 

 

They were both working full time and pursuing master's degrees, living in a tiny apartment with their first son. The pair didn’t have much, especially when it came to time and money, but they always had each other, which gave them the strength and means to make ends meet. One Christmas season, Dianna spent an evening cleaning bathrooms at Congress Junior High with Richard, so he could leave early enough to get a Christmas tree for their son to open presents under. Times were hard, but they made it work.

 

As months turned to years, the pair continued to grow together rather than apart — a concern many couples who marry young face. The key to this for Richard and Dianna has been space and respect. Many long-lasting couples that meet young eventually lose their sense of self, but that is not the case with Richard and Dianna. They have never been the couple attached at the hip, completely obsessed with each other. Even during the dating days, they always had their own friends and activities. The pair spent just as much time apart as they did together. Now, she doesn’t get frustrated when he spends hours golfing, and he doesn’t get jealous when she goes out to Happy Hour with her girl friends. 

 

Dianna and Richard never really did the big declarations of love and the grand gestures. Their relationship wasn’t and still isn’t about being a sweeping romance that feels like it could set the world ablaze. It’s about the small moments of support and the quiet safe space they provide for one another.

 

However, that doesn’t mean their relationship was without difficulties and imperfections. The third decade of their relationship was marked by disillusionment. After 28 years of marriage, the pair went through a six-month separation. At the time, they felt fed up with one another. They spent their days talking at each other instead of to each other, constantly harping on the things they didn’t like about one another. However, after some time in marriage counseling, the couple was able to ground their relationship in the mutual respect they had for one another. From there, they did the work rebuilding and rediscovering their safe space — their home. 

 

While Richard and Dianna might need and value space and independence, they always come back to each other.

 

With a newfound respect and appreciation for one another, the remaining decades of the pair’s relationship have been centered around boundaries and support, something that remains to this day. One might also argue that the longevity of Richard and Dianna’s relationship can be attributed to the way in which they complement one another. It should be no secret by now that the pair are complete opposites in a way that makes hopeless romantics universally swoon. To this day, that is the case because Richard and Dianna didn’t grow into one another; they grew with one another. They gave each other the space they needed to continue to grow as individuals, which allowed and continues to allow them to flourish as a couple.

 

While Richard is a morning person, Dianna loves to sleep in, which was a luxury she never fully got to indulge in when she worked in education. However, to make those early mornings a bit easier for her, Richard would bring her a hot cup of coffee. He would wake her up with a warm smile every morning and say, “Baby girl, here’s your coffee.” Now, she returns the favor. Richard’s current job has him working long days, where he leaves around 6 a.m. and doesn’t return home until 7 p.m., and Dianna always tries to make sure to have some sort of dinner ready for him when he gets home. Just like he was there for her during those sluggish mornings, she is there for him on those draining evenings. 

 

That is something Richard and Dianna have always done and always will do for each other — balance each other out and show up for one another.